Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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