So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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