I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
