Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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