You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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