I skipped work to stalk him.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
