i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
