somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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