Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
