I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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