i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
