I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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