He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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