so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
