i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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