I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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