I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
