shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
