I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize