Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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