And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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