I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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