she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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