I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
