Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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