Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
