I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
