new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
