problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
