I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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