Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
