i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
