Duck Duck Cougar?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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