allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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