I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
