He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
