Christians are straight up FREAKS
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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