Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
