How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
