marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
