I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
