there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
