I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
