Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
