I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
