everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
