note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
