can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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