Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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