My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize