It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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