just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
