no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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