shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
