Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
