Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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