I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
