I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
